so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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