I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize