Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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