just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize