standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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