I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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