Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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