she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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