walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
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Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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