but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
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ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
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will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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