turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Two words: nipple clamps
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