thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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