We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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