Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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