If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize