We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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