I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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