at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
operation have a gay friend backfired
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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