also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize