As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
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