You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
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it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
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When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize