i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
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I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
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we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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