Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize