one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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