I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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