Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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