we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize