her vagine was all disorganized.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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