the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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