My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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