okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize