FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize