Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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