never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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