i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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