i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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