someone get that fucking seahorse.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize