If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
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I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
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Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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