I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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