Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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