Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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