She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize