Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
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