Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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