she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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