He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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