Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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