Are we in a gay sports bar?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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