i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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