just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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